SKIRMISHER

* Stormtrooper chicks and an Empire gone sexy, in a galaxy so far away.

* So how do you kill a nasty, persistent thing like the HIV? Use a superfast laser.

* Sasquatch, or bigfoot, or “bear with a bad skin infection” — it’s still wildly sensational, especially if it’s the only thing on a slow news day.

* Big Brother Africa is in Big Fucking Trouble, thanks to a drunk vagina and some dude with an unstoppable finger.

* Thousands of years in the future, there wouldn’t be any trace of you, but today’s seeds will be safely tucked away in this advanced seed vault in the Alps.

* One of the awesome things about being old is you’re actually a walking cocktail of brain tumor and bursting blood vessels and you don’t even know it.

* Washoe, the “talking” chimp, meets her Maker.

* In today’s latest teacher-student sex scandal news comes our favorite line: “It’s just not about the sex but that it was pretty good.”

Stumble it!