SKIRMISHER

The Optimus Maximus keyboard will soon be available for $1490. But don’t be fooled by its next-door-keyboard appearance; it’s carefully designed to make you really angry and miserable right after you’ve bought it, thinking it’s so expensive it probably shits gold when you tap a key combination, but discovering it doesn’t even taste like chicken even if you’d chew it very, very slowly. At this obscene prize, it’s a moral imperative to demand for something extra, like sheets of unpopped bubblewrap and a hammer. You’re crazy if you don’t.

Stumble it!