Drowning Your Organs In Fat [we're not making this up]

Deadly fat: Jane Clarke teamed up with Jamie Oliver to watch an overweight man’s autopsy. What she saw shocked her to the core.

What, you mean impaling pig fetuses for fun is not good?

Man mistakenly takes a swig of gasoline instead of beer from wrong bottle, makes up for the mistake by acting cool and lighting [...]

Unbreakable [we're not making this up]

6-month-old baby ejected out of an SUV crash, rolls and tumbles on the ground, suffers only minor bruises.

Teen boy was actually a 33-year-old woman hiding from police. And everybody in the restroom thought he just liked looking at dicks.

FBI fails to pay its bills, loses its wiretap network. FBI chief locks himself up in the [...]

Same Shit, Different Day

Pole dancers, bishops and RAF pilots have one thing in common. And we’re not even talking about penis, yet.

Man goes to a brothel to have a good time, only to find his wife as one of the hookers. Maybe there’s a 90% discount.

Dentist Catherine Crowe’s dental treatment is so advanced, she can actually summon Jesus [...]

When God Tells Us To Do Things, We Just Follow Them

God tells dude to cook his girlfriend, but somehow God conveniently forgets to mention that it doesn’t fly with the rest of human civilization.

Dan Miller has changed his legal name into “The” Dan Miller Experience. Don’t ever piss him off by forgetting the quotation marks.

Gary Zerola, “most eligible bachelor” rapes the most rape-able teeners.

Animal center [...]

Just To Remind You, The Dead May Find It Hard To Actually Go To Work

Jabir Khan, a civil supplies inspector in India, was told to improve his attendance. Which would have been fine if Jabir Khan was still, you know, alive.

Somebody injected epidural into the arm instead of the spine of London-based Filipina nurse Mayra Cabrera. So naturally, she died.

The Museum of Bogota — Colombia’s museum dedicated to the [...]

So Next Time Somebody Tries To Rape You, Toss Him Some Porn

Wide, almost ridiculously easy access to porn has actually reduced the amount of rape cases. Ergo, porn is nice. And nice is good. Tell your friends!

Female sexuality — thoroughly assessed, revealed, shed light on.

Because kids are not “fancy enough,” they are banned from this Disney World restaurant.

Female soldier Alessija Dorfmann’s huge fake tits offended the [...]

“I’m so sorry the world didn’t end in 2007″

Man who predicted God will destroy the world in 2007 quickly says sorry when only the usual wars, assassinations, natural catastrophes, and mass deaths happened. Maybe this year?

Students sniff shit for the sake of science.

The top 10 uses of human hair. Somewhere there’s soy sauce.

Man who crashed his car on a light pole swears a [...]

Ignorance Is A Cold-hearted Killer

Ignorance kills Chinese woman, but keeps billions of others still living in bliss.

“He took the Bible and he said, ‘I’m going to do this because I can. I’m going to do something that your stupid, little minds aren’t going to be able to comprehend and he took the Bible and started ripping out pages.”

Father of [...]

Making The World’s Fat Asses Useful Since Last Year

Earthrace: around the world in a boat fueled by human fat.

The woman named “Mary Christmas” can’t stop hating her parents.

Hindu priest commits suicide with the promise of return within 72 hours. The police make sure priest’s return would be “spectacular, like Bollywood” by burning his body to ashes. Hey, Hollywood, are you listening?

77-year-old Robert Schoof [...]

I Can Sell Your Own Shit To You Wholesale — And You’ll Love It

Justin Gignac, insisting that “packaging is more important than the product,” sets out to package New York’s garbage in neat acrylic cubes — and actually sells them. Just like Hollywood.

If Fox News were present throughout history, it would have been a new world of fun, lies and deceit. Which is not to say that common [...]