SKIRMISHER

Jamie-Lynn Spears, always looking on the bright side of life with that crazy twinkle in her eye, sees her teenage pregnancy as a form of birth control.

97-year-old man who received a life sentence defiantly says, “Let’s see if I’d stay long in this prison.”

Turning a dead beaver into a computer.

Drinking bottled water is immoral if [...]

Amit Kumar, infamous kidney robber second only to Johnny Dangerously and that guy in that movie with lotsa spaghetti, has been arrested. Fifty traumatized-but-still-okay kidneys leap to their freee-ddoommmmm!.

Ugly new-born rhinoceros is named “Kofi Annan“ in honor of former UN Secretary General. Kofi Annan feels so honored he won’t stop crying and pulling on his [...]

Voters in Chicago were told they were using “invisible ink.” Well, yes, of course!

School principal threatens students that she’ll do something unspeakably nasty to herself if nobody admits to a theft. Instead of waiting to see what happens, students actually confess! The outrage and missed fun!

This girl loves eating the stuff cows eat in a [...]

“Would Playboy sell so well if it didn’t have naked women in it?” and other questions — plus sincere answers — you would have asked if your mom wasn’t hovering over your shoulders.

We bet a flagon of ale on the possibility that Cory Doctorow’s new kid will hate him later in life just for coming [...]

Porn-proprietor Tyrone Henry insists blowing your semen on the faces of blindfolded, underage girls who think they’re participating in a “facial cream marketing study” is not crime.

BBC’s Planet Earth: if animals could talk, they’d say the word everybody loves.

Four children have died using the anti-wrinkle drug Botox… Yes, children. Who apparently looked like 80–year-olds.

City in [...]

How to save a man being eaten by a croc: (a) cock rifle; (b) aim rifle; (c) choose which is stupid and shoot him.

Erich Kästner, the German Imperial Army’s last known World War 1 veteran, dies at 107. The Allies are so victorious.

Japanese astronaut Takao Doi is all set to throw a boomerang from the [...]

Dov Charney, founder of American Apparel, walks around in his office in his underwear, sleeps with employees, and calls women bitches, sluts, whores and the c-word. Charney’s lawyer denies everything, and insists the only time he was in his undergarments was for “strictly professional reasons.”

Old man David Henton busted for murdering a female friend [...]

You know what’s much, much better than that monkey peeing into its own mouth above? It’s President George Bush pardoning himself for potential war crimes.

Feliberto Carrasco is a man who just wouldn’t die.

The New York Times shows you what you’ve always wanted to see but didn’t know where to look: a female circumcision ceremony.

So how [...]