SKIRMISHER

Tony Goodchild [above] gladly holding the court order that legally should “stop” his former girlfriend from actually approaching him and cutting off his penis. Somewhere, the ex-GF sits in front of a teevee, stroking a white cat, cackling like a witch.
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Now that almost everybody’s excited [some even kill themselves] about the planet-ending possibilities with the Large Hadron Collider, the current shitstravaganza begs an answer to the question, “So what happens if that proton beam hits me in a very personal way?”
Thirty years ago, in Russia, Anatoli Bugorski sort of stumbled on the answer:
As a researcher [...]

Ah, nothing pacifies the modern man more than knowing in his heart all the exciting wedgie possibilities he can wow friends and lovers alike.

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The UK’s Queen’s University is now offering a Jedi course called “Feel the Force: How to Train in the Jedi Way.” Light sabres are not provided, so bring your own.
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But this time, they’re blurred. Ooorahh!

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A blast from the pre-Interweb past:
All 11 members of a football team were killed by a bolt of lightning which left the other team unhurt, a Congolese newspaper has reported.
Thirty other people received burns at the match in the Democratic Republic of Congo.
Kinshasa daily newspaper L’Avenir said local opinion - known to believe in charms [...]

By means of a special headset and transmitter, a San Francisco coach is teaching swimming via telephone. The instructor stands on the edge of the pool and relays advice to his pupil in the water.
Specially prepared, waterproof transmitters and receivers, plus a length of telephone wire, comprise the set which operates on a charge of [...]

The lengths a bear would go to just to whack the guy who pissed him off.
A Canadian man is recovering in the hospital after a black bear swam across a river, climbed onto a dock and then jumped on a boat and attacked him.
Conservation officer Gord Hitchcock said Wednesday the 52-year-old man was fishing at [...]