Project X-ray

project-x-ray.JPG

In the early years of American involvement in WWII, a plan was conceived by a Pennsylvanian dental surgeon to strap tiny incendiary devices to bats and drop them by the thousands over Japanese cities. The bats—able to carry nearly three times their own body weight—would fly under the cover of night and take roost in traditional, highly-flammable wood and paper Japanese houses. As dawn approached, timers on the devices would ignite the “bat bombs” and entire cities would burn to the ground without the loss of life accompanied by, say, an atomic attack. The project was slowed by many complications and was ultimately shut down in 1944 because the bats would not be ready for combat until 1945.

– Just one of the 20 spookiest weapons ever dreamed up, and we’re not talking about Al Qaeda unwashed testicles yet.

{Intriguing: Insect cyborgs}

How To Become An Awesome, Successful Burglar

Burglar suggestions

Some criminals insist on making the big score, but with more frequent, smaller thefts, you can still profit. This thought occurred to me when I saw a guy pushing an ice cream cart through the neighborhoods of Little Mexico. The odd thing was he was pushing it in the middle of the day, when the kids were all in school. I saw him several times over the next week, walking along the road, eyeing houses suspiciously. I suspect he’d break into homes, steal the jewelry and Lladrós, and push them back to headquarters using his faux ice cream wagon.

– The “Push an ice cream cart” ruse, from “Seven ways to become a better burglar

{Mad: Because these underwear won’t sniff themselves.}

If Apollo 11 Didn’t Return, Nixon Had Already Prepared Something To Say

Shockingly, the White House had, after all, a ready-made speech drafted by presidential speechwriter William Safire for President Richard Nixon, just in case Apollo 11 (carrying famous astronauts Neil Armstrong and Edwin Aldrin) would meet something tragic during that historic year of 1969.

Fate has ordained that the men who went to the moon to explore in peace will stay on the moon to rest in peace.

These brave men, Neil Armstrong and Edwin Aldrin, know that there is no hope for their recovery. But they also know that there is hope for mankind in their sacrifice.

[Continue reading The Story Of A Tragedy That Was Not To Be...]

Bikini-clad Baristas Make Your Coffee Super Extra Hot

Coffee Nation's bikini-clad baristas

The coffee-serving baristas of Coffee Nation, a new drive-thru coffee stand in Salem Oregon, serve their tasty caffeinated beverages while clad in skimpy bikinis. Coffee Nation partners with Hawaiian Tropic sunscreen in this venture, and maybe soon also with companies that sell lingerie, penis enlargers, and vaginal shave, just to keep the whole package lip-smackingly complete.

Belgian Politician’s Nude Political Campaign

Leading senatorial candidate Tania Derveaux in Belgium has embarked on a literally naked political campaign, with the slogan: “I promise you 400,000 jobs.” What she probably meant was “400,000 blowjobs,” which would actually sound much better.
For context:

“Tania Derveaux, leading candidate for senate of the NEE party in Belgium goes completely naked for the party’s campaign and for Belgium’s most popular men’s magazine. Their official campaign involves billboards featuring her in all her naked glory with a very seductive look and the text “I promise you 400.000 jobs” above her.” This was submitted to WTFsrsly this morning along with these photos.

The country’s largest party (VLD) announced last week that it promises 200.000 jobs, shortly after that another prominent party (SP.a) states that it is aiming for 260.000 jobs. And now, Belgium’s newest and controversial party NEE promises 400.000 jobs and goes completely naked in the press and in their campaign images. Interesting strategy.

If you’re lucky, you can still find these same photos — and more! — on her political party’s website.

$20 Bill, A Clue To 9/11

It appears that Uncle Sam’s kids have been warned about 9/11, after all.

A clue to the 2001 terrorist attacks have been smothering their palms and pockets all these years — literally. All it takes to identify it is a little know-how of Origami…

Origami? Eeep! The Japanese art of paper-folding! Didn’t Uncle Sam pulverize Hiro and Naga back in 1945?

Hmmm… smell any Arab-Japanese conspiracy here?

via URBAN LEGENDS AND FOLKLORE

Dúcat’s Desperation Day

Information technology’s explosion must have sent us a curse instead of a blessing: one’s voice, if not consigned as “just another one of those daily petty squeaks”, is already drowned in an ocean of gazillion voices. Whichever medium you choose, your opinion doesn’t make any difference anymore, if at all, especially if the media is lorded over by crazy celebs and pricky politicians hungry for attention.

In short, a person’s opinion, no matter how valuable it may seem, is just regarded as mere asphalt dust, a road pebble, and not regarded as an eye-catching and attention-grabbing (pardon the term) dogshit that makes each finicky strand of our hair quiver.

Therefore, KALIPI (Kalipunan ng Liping Pilipino) founder Jun Dúcat has thought of a “unique” recourse to redress his grievances, something that not even sick, twisted, and demented whitemen of the Charles Manson fold has even thought of.

The difference is that Dúcat, who yesterday “hostaged” a bus loaded with seemingly happy kids, is a genuine millionaire and philantropist. And his actions may have not just been provoked by a lack of listeners or a platform; why, isn’t it that the crazy political world of the Philippines is experiencing “the best of times”? Truth to tell, that was one of the culprits.

Continue reading

On Bert, Ernie, And Rudy Giuliani

If  I remember correctly, Sesame Street is located “somewhere” in New York City, right?

Then as now, I didn’t buy Bert’s “Pigeon Club” hogwash. And I have come to the opinion that his strange ”Doin’ The Pigeon” song is but a clever code only he and Al-Qaeda knows.

Bert was a shrewd Osama spy, who reconnoitered the City That Never Sleeps while singing the ABC’s and counting the 123′s with black, white, and Hispanic New York kids.

Seize him! Shave his hair! Color his head orange so that it will make a good carrot cake ingredient!

And since Ernie (who had an illicit love affair with him), was an accomplice, pound his head real fine until it turns into good, brownish flour!

Yes, carrot cake!

Mayor Bloomberg, you should rename the Big Apple into the Big Carrot Cake instead! Do any damned thing you can so that New York won’t be associated and remembered with Rudy Giuliani anymore! The guy has totally lost his self-respect — and mind!!!

So You Want To Become A Mortician

I will present you with steps on a wonderful and always in-demand career. Most probably you have to spend most of your working hours in a dank basement but since you will be handling the dead, it is very rewarding. Just pray to the gods that you won’t be handling a loved one cos that would like really suck.

          your work environment. lulz!

So how does one become a mortician?
1. You should be comfortable with dead bodies (Duh). You also need to be emotionally stable for this job. The latter makes me unqualified. Damnit!
2. There are prerequisites depending on what country and state you live in. In the US for example, you have to go to a mortuary school and some states require that you should have a high school diploma or an AA degree before you can be accepted in one. In the third world country where I live in, the only requirements are a strong stomach, good knowledge in anatomy, and two hands. Just kidding. Or am I? Mortuary school isn’t for the dumb. It involves different kinds of science, business, and ethics. Yes, you need a conscience to become one.

Read the rest in my other blog.

A Meralco Stratagem To Remind You To Pay Your Doggone Bills.

I currently live with my family in perhaps the sloppiest municipality in the province of Laguna (no thanks to an inutile mayor every concerned citizen should assassinate for the sake of a healthy and safe society). And last night, while we were watching primetime news, the power went off for about two seconds (OK, it wasn’t the mayor’s fault – but he still sucks).

Curses of disbelief, frustration, disappointment, anger, frothed forth from our surprised selves, especially since my wife and I wouldn’t be too happy and relieved leaving our kids behind with their nanny without electricity that night.

But mercifully, it went back immediately.

Continue reading

Are You An Aspiring Hearse Driver?

…or just curious about driving for the dead? This post is for you because you will end up riding one someday. Hopefully not soon.

horse-drawn

Hearse driving has been with us for ages. Transporting the dead used to involve horses and carts but through industrialization, motorized hearses came about. Popular makers of modern hearses are Ford, Cadillac, Lincoln, Mercedes Benz, Volvo, Jaguar, and Opel. Maybe in Japan, they have souped up hearses. Or flying ones. In Venice, the hearses are special since our regular hearses would sink in their canals. Venicians use a modified boat which sort of resembles a hearse.

copyright by Philip Greenspun (http://philip.greenspun.com/)

Cool, ain’t it? Motorcyle hearses are becoming popular now even though they were invented during the early 1900′s. IMHO, they’re butt ugly. I wouldn’t be caught dead inside one of those. Har har. Seriously, I don’t know why it’s becoming popular. It’s so…confining.

Read the rest of the post in my other blog.

How Not To Make Money From Blogging

I’ve been a blogger for more than 6 years now and I never really earned anything from doing it. Well not exactly. I got Mike to donate me a couple of dollars. Aside from that, nadda. Not a single cent. The Adsense on my sidebar is useless because nobody ever clicked on it. My Amazon Associate account never brought me revenue. And my textlink ad for RSS never got approved. With the advent of problogging and probloggers, the way I blog is probably as extinct as the Dodo bird. I can only drool as increasing number of bloggers in the interwebs receive paychecks or products for review. Hell, that bastard Darren Rowse who owns problogging.net was able to buy a house because of blogging. I wouldn’t even be able to buy a pack of chewing gum for my blog. I am hoping that would change in the future but as for now, I think I have enough credentials to give tips on how not to earn money from blogging.

  1. Alienate your audience. Talk about yourself as much as possible and don’t forget to mention your elite tastes in music, film, literature, art, and the likes. Believe that you are better than most of humanity.
  2. Make your posts non work-friendly. Display naked or half-naked photos. Make use of keywords such as porn, sex, bestiality, masturbation, incest and other sexual deviations you can think of.
  3. Graphics overload. Never resize your graphics nor make thumbnails. Graphics should be 300 pixels or more. By doing so, users on dial-up won’t be able to access your blog.
  4. Horizontal scrolling is your friend.
  5. Offend. Cover taboo topics and constantly criticize religious groups, race, advocacies, etc. For best effect, contradict yourself often. You don’t want to create a following.
  6. Hide your ads. Ads should not be easily seen.
  7. Turn off commenting. This makes the readers feel unwelcome. Another alternative is to password protect entries.
  8. Never promote your blog. It’s as if your blog doesn’t exist at all.
  9. Do not link. This makes your blog self-contained. If someone links to your blog, do not link back. Too much links in posts can be effective too.
  10. Sprinkle expletives often. Readers will surely love you for it.

Originally posted in my blog, bury me in this dress.

Protect Yourself From Office Creeps!

Tired of office politics? Or how your boss fails to recognize your achievements but instead prefers your bootlickin’ officemate just because he’s/she’s a loudmouth smart-alecky? And worst of all, you can’t do a thing about it?

If you had enough, I say, screw em’ all.

Now THIS is what I call a real equalizer: a mini-bow and pen!

You get to cream an officemate in the ass without being noticed. That is, if you’re a good pen flicker. So, practice first.

But if you want to be flagrant, aim right at the eyeballs. Hell, there’d be even no need for a bow! Just follow Kurt Cobain’s anthem first before doing it to your boss: “you can’t fire me because I quit!”

Gosh, I’m so evil. Too much office exposure, I suppose…

How to Innovate

There are 10 ways how to innovate, says John Thackara, the innovative author of In the Bubble: Designing in a Complex World. I’m reprinting it here, but you may go to the source.

  • Power Law 1: Don’t think “new product” – think social value.
  • Power Law 2: Think social value before “tech”.
  • Power Law 3: Enable human agency. Design people into situations, not out of them.
  • Power Law 4: Use, not own. Possession is old paradigm.
  • Power Law 5: Think P2P, not point-to-mass.
  • Power Law 6: Don’t think faster, think closer.
  • Power Law 7: Don’t start from zero. Re-mix what’s already out there.
  • Power Law 8: Connect the big and the small.
  • Power Law 9: Think whole systems (and new business models, too).
  • Power Law 10: Think open systems, not closed ones.

Thoughtful. But I’m suspicious of things that come in 10s, and this list feels so arbitrary. Maybe on sunny days I’d still settle for Fight Club‘s “You are not your job, you are not the contents of your wallet,” and all that cutting-edge scheisse.