SKIRMISHER

“We went out and Demi was dancing up on me and humping me from behind. She was lactating at the time and she was squirting breast milk at my lesbian friends. My friend Michelle called me the next morning and asked me: ‘How do I get breast milk out of my black dress?’ “I replied: [...]

Jessica Simpson, seen here wearing what looks like a see-through dress [underneath was actually a skin-colored bra] reassured her hordes of fans in a recent interview that she, like, toootally farts a lot, “but it smells heavenly, like roses.”

With that important matter of passing gas finally settled, now we can move on to other things. [...]

“It’s true,” she laughed in an interview with Australia’s Sunday Telegraph. “I did — until my sister told me, ‘You know, Eva, nuns don’t get paid.’ And I said, ‘Forget it!’ I’ve always wanted a better life, financially.”
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It was 1969, John Lennon was in a hotel room in Toronto, and Beatle fanatic Jerry Levitan was just 14 years old — but that didn’t stop him from sneaking into Lennon’s room and ask for an interview about “peace”. Below was how it basically went.

If I have daughters, I wouldn’t want them to go into pornography. That’s not really a conflict with who I am. You don’t ever want your children to struggle. You want everything to come to them beautifully and perfectly. My industry is not cut out for harmony. I don’t want my little girl to have [...]

You wake up as a cockroach, and suddenly there are these other cockroaches all want to gangbang you? Sound familiar? It’s because Franz Kafka wrote it!
Experts have unearthed a stash of explicit pornographic material belonging to German author Franz Kafka.
The erotic material has been ignored by scholars anxious to preserve the writer’s image.
James Hawes, an [...]

Hannah Montana star Miley Cyrus seems to have been the target of some dedicated “hacker” (aka close friend turned Brutus} who goes by the handle TrainReq.
TrainReq even leaves these words on a forum to inspire pervs everywhere:
i have worse pictures than these, and those are prob getting sold. I saw alot of juicy emails, [...]

Meanwhile, at the G8 Summit:
[George Bush] ended a private meeting with the words: “Goodbye from the world’s biggest polluter.”
He then punched the air while grinning widely, as the rest of those present including Gordon Brown and Nicolas Sarkozy looked on in shock.
Mr Bush, whose second and final term as President ends at the end of [...]

George “Seven Words You Can’t Say On Television” Carlin has died of heart failure, most probably cussing like he usually did.
So it’s only timely to watch at your leisure one of George’s great bits, this one fittingly about death.
Thank you, George, for all the hilarious shit.
{Mad: Strange brew}

Courtney Love bares her fangs and prepares to eat people.

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{Mad: Courtney doesn’t like editing her blog, ever}