How To Get Laid Using The Magic Word “Jesus”

The toughest part is, all of your holiness is really getting in the way of my porno titfuck fantasy of you. I mean, I really want to do this, it’s completely absorbing my thoughts lately, but I feel like Jesus is standing between me and my desire to make love to your breasts. I can [...]

Holy Shit, Batman, It’s The Super Virgin Mary!

No, French artist Soasig Chamailard doesn’t see you as a bitch, so you can’t accuse him of trying to fuck you. What he does, he says, is “that I don’t use Holy Marie as my subject to shock a catholic public. I like to play with icons like a children with his toys.”
Exactly his words.

Rebel Nuns Kicked Out Of Polish Convent

After two years of engaging in “hard crime” — which basically involved not listening to the Voice of God, aka, the Vatican, along with some flagrant use of evil things like electric guitars — 65 very bad nuns were finally kicked out of the Polish convent Kazmierz Dolny in eastern Poland.
“They were disobedient,” said Mieczyslaw [...]

The Catholic League Posts Photos Of Gay Leather Fetish Festival

Photos of gay people in leather whips and chains have been posted on Catholic Online. Why would the Catholic League do that? Because they’re all proudly gay, of course! What do you think priests and altar boys do when it’s not Sunday? Actually, those were snapshots of the Folsom Street Festival, which everybody knows ceases [...]

Kids Pray For A Cardboard George Bush

Some Christian Right lady makes kids engage in a sort of “communication” with probably the only “intelligent” version of Bush available — the one where he’s a cardboard.

Mother Theresa’s “Atheistic Letters” Make Her An Awesome Candidate As The First Atheist Saint

Nothing could stop Rev. Brian Kolodiejchuk from pushing for Mother Theresa’s sainthood — not even her letters that showed her “lack of faith.”
Apparently, Mother Theresa herself was wracked by doubts that would make good-lookin’ atheists everywhere yell, “PWNED!”
In a new book that compiles letters she wrote to friends, superiors and confessors, her doubts are obvious.
Shortly [...]

Top 10 Countries Most Likely To Be Hit By Fireballs From Heaven

Hardcore religious fanatics might find it better to X out these heathen countries from their about-to-tour list:

Sweden
Vietnam
Denmark
Norway
Japan
Czech Republic
Finland
France
South Korea
Estonia

Hey Lazy Churchgoers, May We Interest You With A $15 Bribe Called The “iSermon”?

David Hughes, pastor of the Church by the Glades, has cooked up an “iThemed strategy” to lure people into attending church: first-timers filling out a “connection card” during the next three weekends receive a $15 iTunes gift card. The series of sermons is called “i: Successful Living in a Self-Absorbed World.” It’s what Jesus would [...]