If you have $27,500 lying around (sure, who doesn’t?), extreme travel group G.A.P Adventures will take you as high as 13 miles above the Earth’s surface through its Edge of Earth program on a MiG-31. First-class accommodation and meals, and we bet you’ll be screaming your balls out with all the breathtaking (and breakfast-retching) things you’ll see and experience.
What do you do when there’s a heat wave and not a body of pristine unpolluted water around?
A floating pool!
The Badeschiff (“bathing ship”), as spotted floating on the Spree river in Berlin, Germany, is an old barge converted into a public swimming pool. If you gotta go pee, you only have to stand on the edge. Convenient! Also in New York.
Maybe you’re not aware of it yet, but luxury submarines are so hot right now as the pussy magnet of choice among the very rich. You know, for screwing the brains out of those out-of-work Hollywood starlets while sea anemones float by the submarine window. It’s fine — except with those naughty dolphins.
“Dolphins are easily excited when they sense people making love. They get jealous and bang their noses against the window,” US Submarines president Bruce Jones said.
When you’re content with succulent dinners composed mainly of bird seed for most of your life, seeing how the White House regaled the palate of the royal British couple arouses the kind of fascination hobos feel whenever they see somebody like Rosie O’Donnell. Here’s the actual menu from the White House website.
Menu for the Dinner in Honor of Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II and His Royal Highness The Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh
Spring Pea Soup with Fernleaf Lavender
Chive Pizzelle with American Caviar
Newton Chardonnay “Unfiltered†2004
Dover Sole Almondine
Roasted Artichokes, Pequillo Peppers and Olives
Saddle of Spring Lamb
Chanterelle Sauce
Fricassee of Baby Vegetables
Peter Michael “Les Pavots†2003
Arugula, Savannah Mustard
and Mint Romaine
Champagne Dressing and Trio of Farmhouse Cheeses
“Rose Blossomsâ€
Schramsberg Brut Rosé 2004
Umo Inc’s “Gold Facial Treatment,” which it unveiled recently at Beautyworld Japan in Tokyo, involves placing three sheets of 24-carat gold leaf on your face and costs £125. The question everyone’s asking is: Does it work? Our answer is: Yeah, in the exact same way farting through silk works.
If you guys have any opprobriously wacky but burning question that you’d rather not ask aloud due to a nagging fear that your privates’ privacy might be placed under scrutiny by the sexual public, well, I have just discovered apt recipients to it: just throw the ball to these homies and they’ll put all your anxieties to rest.
As testament to people’s ceaseless obsession with talking rodents to amuse kids and grown-ups, here’s Saudi billionaire Prince Alwaleed bin Talal reportedly in talks with investors about opening an $8 billion Disneyland theme park in Bahrain.
Quite “unpredictably,” the said venture will be called [drumroll please] “Disney Bahrain.”
Alwaleed, the world’s eighth-richest man, is talking to investors including Kuwait Finance House, the Gulf’s second-largest Islamic bank by market value, and Bahraini institutions, [Bahrain's al-Waqt newspaper] said.
Alwaleed indirectly owns 10 percent of Disneyland Paris operator Euro Disney, and his Rotana Audio Visual Co. signed a deal in November to distribute Walt Disney products across the Middle East and North Africa.
A spokeswoman for the prince could not be reached for comment. A spokesman for Kuwait Finance House in Bahrain declined to either confirm or deny the report.
With the rest of the report giving us a rather unclear idea on whether or not the Saudi Prince is really serious about transplanting Disney’s wonderful all-dancing, all-singing rodents and what-have-you, we’ll content ourselves assuming that the usual Disney characters will be given free rein on how best to interpret and put into practice the goat-humping preferences of the region. Maybe this video will help you picture it.
via CNN
The “Eejanaika” at Fuji-Q Highland in Japan has been designed to make you barf your lunch, even if you didn’t actually have one. With a top speed of 126 km/h, descent angle of 89 degrees, and individual seats that rotate you 360 degrees, it won’t really be surprising if its operators hand out miniature replicas of the Darwin Awards to those who finish the ride and actually live to tell others about it.
via DIGG
Have fun this Holiday Season!!!
Cheers! Always smile, stay young at heart, age with grace!
And watch out for ALAS FILIPINAS this 1st of January 2007.
With lotsa love, Pepe Alas.
¡Nos vemos!
As I write this, the Philippines is being battered by typhoon Reming. And my skin is feverishly excited to once more welcome the mighty winds! Yes, on stormy occasions, my electrolytes are on a surge (wooopeee! wooopeee!).
But I have to make sense once in a while. So as a sign of respect for this pre-Christmas typhoon, here I go…
Although a typhoon ain’t really that huge anymore as compared to a hurricane these days, a storm is still a storm.
And what about a political storm?
Well, click here and –no doubt– you’ll see the ugliest tropical bitch your eyes would set upon.
“The soup is too salty.”
O, crag… what else should I do if the Muse has stopped slurping my dick (…the birds no more sing…)? What? What? What?
What?
(Well… might as well go home to Parañaque and plant camote, Pepe.)
Yes.
Goodbye, cruel world.
Goodbye.
Reming, sweep me off my feeble feet | after I brush my teeth | three times a day | particularly this acidic day.
(Man, you’re worse than a drunken asswipe…)
At least, I’m not as unfortunate as Mike Arroyo’s wife. No way.
But where is this post headed to?
(Well, today, I am headed to Landayan, San Pedro, Laguna, for the consecration of Santo Sepulcro into a shrine –”"”peace peace peace peace peace peace“”"– Save thyself. Save/Grave. | Thy/Die. |Â Self/Help. For a better tomorrow/bone marrow. Falling away from me. Falling Away From Me).
Then what?
What?
There I shall see the mysterious Lagunense church’s spires
are like
fingers pointing
heavenward,
commanding,
saying “Up to your feet –
coward!”
and face the fact that, as you write this, the Philippines is being battered by a typhoon.
(DISCLAIMER: This post does not contain fancy words such as discombobulating, hifalutin, cretin, alabaster, gobbledygook, churva, etc. But it is, indeed, full of gibberish. So enjoy your lunch. Pepe will be back to normal if he survives his
Goodbye, cruel world
nonsense.)
I AM PEPE ALAS. COME WITH ME.
DIVE WITH ME.
EAT SUGAR WITH ME.
DANCE WITH ME.
SPEAK SPANISH BREAD WITH ME.
REBURY RIZAL WITH ME.
MAKE LOVE TO ME.
FILL ME WITH PILLS.
AND UNSAVE ME.
D’YOU HEAR ME?
ANSWER ME!
If marketing geniuses tell you this stool’s designers call it “the beggar stool,” know and smell the acidic waft of sarcasm. But don’t take it personally. If your butt can afford to lounge on Arabian-inspired, cushy fabric (somebody clued us in on the fact that said fabric is actually a sackfull of baby squirrels you can ass-squish at leisure), then perhaps you’d care to part with your $2,833 for one of these decadent things. I’d take it just for that “large, flamboyant tassel.”
via TRENDIR
The Nemo33 diving pool in Belgium is 30 meters deep and is filled with drinkable spring water and not the chlorinated kind. The water is constantly warm, either because it is in fact heated by 50 solar panels on the roof, or due to the selfless efforts of bored maintenance personnel who maybe sometimes pee in it just for kicks.
Fiji and Dubai are in some sort of “boxing match” to create the world’s first underwater hotel. In one corner, wearing a jersey made of palm fronds, is personal submarine designer Bruce Jones for Fiji’s Poseidon, whose rendering you see to the left.
In another corner, wearing the desert regalia of Dubai’s crown prince, is Joachim Hauser, with his crazier, grander plan for Hydropolis.
But before they slug it out, here’s Business 2.0 for some wonderful words of reassurance:
Underwater hotels have long been dream projects for architects and designers, but it looks like two of them may actually be built over the next 18 months in Fiji and Dubai. The Fiji resort will be called Poseidon and cost $80 million to build, while the more extravagant Dubai underwater hotel will be called Hydroplos and cost $550 million. Personal submarines and missle-detecting radar will be available (for visiting dignitaries and James Bond villains, I guess). Nightly rates will start at $1,500.
To see what passes for real-world figures, here’s this finely-crafted table prepared by Jeff Davis that shows, among other things, construction costs, missile-detecting radar, and nightly rates.
via BUSINESS2BLOGS
