SKIRMISHER

Fort Lupton Municipal Judge Paul Sacco says his novel punishment of forcing noise violators to listen to music they don’t like for one hour has cut down on the number of repeat offenders in this northwestern Colorado prairie town.
About four times a year, those guilty of noise ordinance violations are required to sit in a [...]

A seven-year-old boy broke into a Northern Territory reptile farm and sadistically fed a stream of its main exhibits to the resident 3m crocodile.
He also bludgeoned three lizards to death in their pens.
Police cannot charge the boy because of his age.
Security camera video footage clearly shows every move of the youngster’s 35-minute rampage.
One CCTV image [...]

Defense contractor Northrop Grumman assures the Pentagon that weapons-grade electric lasers will actually come by the end of 2008. Which means 100-kilowatt lasers that can knock mortars and rockets out of the sky — just like in your favorite video game! Fo sho!

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Barbecued seahorses are weird delicacies that can be found being sold in the streets of China. But now that the 2008 Olympics are being held there, these poor sea creatures might invite international palates to even threaten more of what remains of their marine solitude.

Remember when we talked about the US military’s new fancy dispersal weapon call the Heat Ray Gun? CBS; David Martin tests how that ray gun without any cool Star Wars sound effects could actually force you to flee.

Badaltearing Safari Park in China has something very titillating for its visitors — pay for one of the cute goats in a pen, and the zoo will happily toss the live goat into a pack of hungry lions, for you to savor the sight of how cute goat is turned quickly into no-longer-cute-goat.

How to make a lockpick like a pro. Balls required.

“State wildlife officials on Santa Catalina Island (California) said today that they were investigating the beheading of a deer in downtown Avalon by a city employee who dressed the carcass and left the head in a soccer net near a preschool and City Hall.”

What you see here are members of the gallant Belgian police from the French-speaking part of Belgium, showing how to grab a politician’s balls just the way God intended it. Especially if the politician’s Flemish and comes from the Dutch-speaking part of that country.
On the other hand, the man who so willingly and enthusiastically offered [...]

On top of that subwoofer is a helpless blonde chick regretting why she ever fell in love with a smooth-talking DJ.

Why spend thousands of bucks on a well-bred dog when you can strap on the fancy Oodle Maker on any street mutt you can find?
The Oodle Maker is a body suit that is high quality, allegetic free, non-shedding, untearable, unstainable, self cleaning and nothing sticks to it!
So forget about purchasing a fancy “designer dog” from [...]

Officials at Nepal’s state-run airline have sacrificed two goats to appease Akash Bhairab, the Hindu sky god, following technical problems with one of its Boeing 757 aircraft, the carrier said Tuesday.
Nepal Airlines, which has two Boeing aircraft, has had to suspend some services in recent weeks due the problem.
The goats were sacrificed in front of [...]

Witness to an Execution tells the stories of the men and women involved with the execution of deathrow inmates at the Walls Unit in Huntsville, Texas. Narrated by Warden Jim Willett, who oversees all Texas executions, Witness to an Execution documents, in minute-by-minute detail, the process of carrying out an execution by lethal injection. Most [...]

In another breaking cat-related news, some stray cat was found with its eyes spray-painted shut. And if you know the evil human who did this, there’s a $500 waiting for you.

We were informed that this year’s bull run in Pamplona, Spain, was indeed one of the best bull runs when it comes to seeing people ending up on the business end of a bull’s horns, like Norwegian Christopher Neiff’s right leg (shown in the photo). Ooops, vomit.

Thomas Edison, working to discredit Westinghouse’s AC electrical system, electrocuted cats and dogs and even beloved hulk Topsy the Elephant to show the public how friggin’ dangerous AC was. What you don’t see in the video is the fine elephant-enriched cuisine later served.

“Crispy Skin Possum,” meticulously prepared with 50,000 volts of electricity.

I can has cheezeburger?