SKIRMISHER

Many respectable people have already slathered Shandong Erge with the to-die-for moniker of “Aleksey Vayner of China” or even the “Yao Ming of Douches,” but it doesn’t stop us from pitching in our own gallon of bile as we say that he is, indeed, Vayner’s Chinese doppelganger of sorts.

Erge is a 29-year-old gym instructor at Jiangsu University who became an overnight Internet sensation by posting almost nude pictures of himself on his blog in his bid (so far fruitless) to find a wife, covered on the Yangtse Evening Post.

In his specially-created blog for his cause, the Shanghaiist discovers that…

…Erge treats his readers to pictures of Japanese girls in ultra-low cut jeans, attempts to teach women how to make love to their husbands after proclaiming he is a virgin in his matrimonial bid, posts videos of himself lifting heavy weights on TV, and laments “these androgynous days” when intelligent women are disappearing from the TV screen “save for the voluptuous Furong Jiejie”, and getting replaced by effeminate hosts, which in turn emboldens gay boys to sexually harass him with text messages. He also complains of how he’s devoted so many years to bulking up at the gym all for the ladies, only to have them turn around and say to him, “You’re disgusting.”

Folks who know him personally are probably pondering to commit mass suicide at the moment. Please make a blog about it, will you guys?

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