SKIRMISHER

Using Jedi-like mind tricks (read: proprietary “Science” obtained from a decade of careful research) he is proud of, Satoshi Fujita runs the Pickup School for Men Who Can’t Get Any, which teaches geeky, insecure men of all ages how to gain confidence, score dates, and get laid.

“Since joining Mr. Fujita’s school, I have had five successful relationships,” says Hachioji Robocop, a 27-year-old civil servant who has been taking the course since 2004. “I lost my virginity six months into the course, and now I can now communicate with women. I’m very grateful.”

And by “successful relationships”, of course he means wham-bam!-thank-you-ma’am! That’s why there’ve been five.

{Probably related in a roundabout way: Below, Tom Cruise “respects the cock and tames the cunt” as Frank TJ Mackey in Magnolia}

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