SKIRMISHER

The South Sydney Rabbitohs rugby league club, co-owned by actor Russel Crowe, has fired its cheerleading squad out of fear their extreme hotness would continue to distract kids and their fathers from the finer aspects of watching plastic-and-foam-clad burly men pummel one another for the sake of one ball.

“It makes women uncomfortable and it makes blokes who take their son to the football also uncomfortable,” Crowe was quoted as saying in News Ltd. newspapers Friday.

There’s reason to assume Russel Crowe and his team are now seriously deciding on whether to form a new, “nice” cheerleading squad composed either of normal-looking gay black Jews or some functional patients from a Third World lepers colony, who everyone knows are not too hot, not too distracting, and entirely politically acceptable. There’s a chance kids might throw up, but they would get over it.
via DAVE BARRY

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