SKIRMISHER

When Jackie Chan says “I don’t like it,” all of Hong Kong seems compelled to say, “Hell, yeah!” Even if the object of Jackie’s dislike is not actually some crappy kung fu taught by the School of Mr. Crappy Kung Fu Crane Style, but something as delectable as Gillian Chung’s cleavage. So Jackie and his celebrity friends went to Hong Kong’s government to express their dismay, not necessairly in the old drunken style.

“The celebrities, wearing black T-shirts, handed over a petition Tuesday denouncing the photos of Gillian Chung, of the popular duo Twins. The stars urged the government to tighten laws on racy publications.

Chung was shown adjusting her bra backstage after a concert in Malaysia’s Genting Highlands. The photo appeared on the cover of the current issue of Easy Finder weekly.

Government regulators have received a deluge of complaints. Hong Kong’s Obscene Articles Tribunal has classified the magazine issue “indecent,” which could lead to prosecution. Chan, star of the “Rush Hour” movies, and fellow celebrities attended a TV special protesting the photos Monday.”

We understand that the Grand Jackie Chan Against Indecent Snapshot of Gillian Chung’s Bra protest march was really much more than complaining about indecent snapshots of Gillian Chung’s reportedly cute, Hello Kitty mammaries. Yes, it was for noble things like fighting for the rights of all womenfolk, piracy, and banning sales of hard-to-adjust brassieres that put girls in awkward paparazzi-vulnerable situations. I agree with him; I’m so touched right now I’m willing to die a horrible death for these fine things that make us civilized. But let me see Gillian’s sugar tits first.

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