SKIRMISHER

A couple who understandably prefer to remain safely anonymous have been asking the interwebs for $50,000 worth of Paypal-mediated donations to raise their yet-to-be-born baby — if said donation quota isn’t met in the next three months, the couple will conveniently abort the babe. Quite simple, isn’t it?

If any body part of yours itches insanely just by reading this, rest assured we already have welt marks from the sudden onslaught of the heeby-jeebies we get from sensing that rare, terrific bullshit. So far, the donation jar already has about 10 grand. We’re sure you have some nice things to say to these people, so go ahead and blast them a loving email — describe to them the heady aroma of fresh human excrement, and how, uncannily, you seem to be smelling it now.

Stumble it!