Happiness Is A Wrist-mounted Flamethrower

Some dude made the ultimate awesomeness possible by making this wrist-mounted testicle-roaster he calls the “Pyro System 2.2“. No update on whether or not he has successfully roasted himself in some drunken Halloween stunt, but he’s probably in his mother’s basement now, reading How Not To Burn Your Nuts And Influence People.

Gadget Porn: Dual-screen Laptop

gScreen, a company owned by some dude named Gordon Stewart, is releasing what could be the first true dual-screen laptop: the Spacebook That’s 30 inches of screen right there, as a second screen slides out from underneath the first. Something you can fap to. If you’re into gadgets and stuff.

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Bounce-o-meter

The Bounce-o-meter. Some say it actually has a “scientific use,” but we only like ogling them titties.

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How To Be “God” In Your Own Normal Way

Buy a forest. Adopt 8 midget babies every year (mixed race). Be the only non-midget around and raise them to think you’re their god.

[there's a midget for every party need, don't forget!]
link: Midget Village

Enicycle: The Latest Go-get-hot-piece-o’-ass Ride

Forget the Segway. Even with zero acrobatic balancing skillz, the Enicycle sweeps you into the awesomeness zone in just a couple of minutes. Watch it in action.
link: Enicycle

World’s Most Expensive Book

The up-coming book Wine Opus, which is actually just a list of the world’s top 100 wineries is going to be released in 2010, with each copy priced at $1 million fucking dollars.
Oh, BTW, each copy comes with 600 bottles of wine from said wineries. Order now!

[hot drunk girls: the only reason why wine was [...]

Epic High Five

KFC Wants That Glorious Pile Of Fat, Dead Bodies, Please

The “new” KFC Double Down Chicken Sandwich: an obscene agglomeration of fried chicken patties replacing the normal bread buns, with two slices of cheese, and two slices of bacon. And yummy sauce. A perfect alternative to gulping down a vat of fat.

link: “Double down with KFC“

Device Allows The Blind “See” With Their Tongues, In A Non-pervert Way

With BrainPort, the device being developed by neuroscientists at Middleton, Wisc.–based Wicab, Inc. (a company co-founded by the late Back-y-Rita), visual data are collected through a small digital video camera about 1.5 centimeters in diameter that sits in the center of a pair of sunglasses worn by the user. Bypassing the eyes, the data are [...]

Just When You Thought You’ve Seen Awesome, You Meet This

The Dollhead Mohawk. Ask your barber for it next time.

How To Make Your Day Vanish, Like Magic

Play Max Damage. A vanisher of hours.

Toyota’s Humanoid Robot PWNS Honda’s

This is Toyota’s humanoid robot, demonstrating one physical thing we humans take for granted: running like hell. And by that I mean, 7 km/h. Rather flimsy, but Honda’s Asimo used to get people’s attention with its 6 km/h speed. And now this. A few years, and we’d all be living in caves, calling ourselves “The [...]

Human Ingredients T-shirt

When sometimes you feel so “big and grand,” it’s always good to get reminded of what you actually contain.

link: Product page

The Spanish Ribbed Newt Is The Most Badass Little Animal You Can Kill With A Shoe

When attacked, the Spanish ribbed newt pushes out its ribs until they pierce through its body, exposing a row of bones that act like poisonous barbs.
The newt has to force its bones through its skin every time it is attacked, say scientists who have described the form and function of the barbs in detail.
Yet this [...]

Jeans That “Wink”

The amusingly named Winkers, whose buttock-eyes appear to wink coquettishly at anybody following the wearer, are the invention of William A. Jones, a retired father of five and grandfather of seven who lives in Everett, Washington.
Jones says that the idea came to him when, naturally, he was checking out a woman as she walked past [...]

Glow-in-the-dark Toilet Paper For Those Shitty Brownout Evenings

Now you’ll always be able to find the toilet paper, even in the dark, with this new Glow in the Dark Toilet Paper!
Perfect for power cuts, this groovy glowing loo roll means that if you don’t want to wake anyone up in your household by turning on the light, it’ll cast its green glow over [...]

Giant Robot Cages Will Soon Be Responsible For Bringing All Seafood To Your Table

The world’s growing population is devouring seafood as quickly as it can be caught and has seriously depleted the world’s wild fish stocks, experts warn.
The UN’s Food and Agriculture Organization says 70 percent of all the worlds’ fisheries are exploited—that is, barely able to replenish themselves at current catch rates—overexploited, or depleted.

That’s one reason that [...]