SKIRMISHER

As seemingly controversial as John McCain choosing her as VP, Sarah Palin’s family life turns out to have at least some melodrama, with wags having fun insisting that her fifth child, Trig, is actually her daughter Bristol’s kid. Now ain’t that a super-fun topic on the dinner table?

Now being upfront, we have no idea if [...]

Jessica Simpson, seen here wearing what looks like a see-through dress [underneath was actually a skin-colored bra] reassured her hordes of fans in a recent interview that she, like, toootally farts a lot, “but it smells heavenly, like roses.”

With that important matter of passing gas finally settled, now we can move on to other things. [...]

Model Veronica Kay, with a missing leg. Courtesy of Stuff magazine’s awesome, over-enthusiastic Photoshop expert.
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The resemblance is uncanny on so many levels.
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{Mad: Richard Branson and Jesus Christ are more similar than you think}

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Eleven-month-old baby in Colombia weighs as much as an average 8-year-old and is currently eating up all of the country’s food reserves… Not.
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Awww! Lookie that! Marlboro sponsors these Chinese children’s school uniform. What a nice tobacco company!

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And by “water-squirting,” we mean from the butt. While Jesus-Christ-on-a-ferris-wheel barking.

Nine-year-old Tiana Walton “smashed” the world record for having the most number of snails (now set at 25) on a girl’s face all at the same time. And here we were living our quiet lives thinking, “No fucking way!”

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The MythBusters team made this cool Mona Lisa-sketching paintball thingie to do in .008 seconds what someone like Da Vinci accomplished much longer (okay, Da Vinci’s was totally more kick-ass, but still).

A welder who tried to elongate his penis with a nut found himself in a pickle when the nut got stuck after he had an erection.
The victim, from Taman Sri Skudai, had apparently been trying to increase the length of his penis ahead of his engagement next week when disaster struck.
It is learnt that the [...]

Mr. Douchenozzle McTwatten is in da haws!

As many as 88 percent of IT workers would consider stealing valuable and sensitive company information if they were made redundant, according to a new survey.
Cyber-Ark’s Trust, Security & Passwords survey revealed that a CEO’s passwords, customer databases and research and development plans are among the information most likely to be taken by disgruntled employees.
Cyber-Ark [...]

“It’s true,” she laughed in an interview with Australia’s Sunday Telegraph. “I did — until my sister told me, ‘You know, Eva, nuns don’t get paid.’ And I said, ‘Forget it!’ I’ve always wanted a better life, financially.”
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Air Canada’s regional carrier Jazz is removing life vests from all its planes to save weight and fuel.
Jazz spokeswoman Manon Stuart said Thursday that government regulations set by Transport Canada allow airlines to use floatation devices instead of life vests provided the planes remain within 50 nautical miles of shore.
Safety cards in the seat pockets [...]

$26 quadrillion per antimatter pound? Hmmm… So that’s why they’re all crazy about building that Large Hadron Colliding monstrosity.
Item                                        Price per pound

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