SKIRMISHER

This is Glenn Martin, showing off his jet pack. Prepare to die.

A motorbike engine running on petrol uses car fan-belts to drive two fan propellers that spin horizontally inside what looks like two oversized soup cans.
This ‘ducted fan’ design is more efficient than the unshielded rotor of a helicopter.
The engine, fuel tank and pilot are [...]

The all-fun Jesus laser-and-machine-gun narrative. And it kicks ass!

From William Lamson’s series called “Intervention.”

Hey, it’s the T-rex 5000 masturbating robotic hand! Sure, the average enthusiastic wanker might break it to pieces in a short time, but there’s more where that came from!

The Candom is a brilliant beverage insulator that rolls on to a can like a giant condom. Great fun for parties, or sex ed class, Candoms are the only way to keep your beverage cold. Practice safe sips…use a Candom!
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At the height of UFO hysteria then sweeping the nation, two young barbers and a butcher took a dead monkey in 1953, lopped off its tail and applied a liberal dose of hair remover and some green coloring to the carcass.
Then they left the primate on an isolated road north of Atlanta in the pre-dawn [...]

The arrangement of atoms and molecules in glass is indistinguishable from that of a liquid. But how can a liquid be as strikingly hard as glass?
“They’re the thickest and gooiest of liquids and the most disordered and structureless of rigid solids,” said Peter Harrowell, a professor of chemistry at the University of Sydney in Australia, [...]

When shit happens, it’s awesome.

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This is an actual monster, some sort of rodent-like creature with a dinosaur beak. A tipster says that there is “a government animal testing facility very close by in Long Island,” but unless the government is trying to design horrible Montauk monsters that will eat IEDs and fart fire at bad Iraqis, we’re not sure [...]

“Everyone has assumed we age by rust,” Kim said. “But then how do you explain animals that don’t age?”
Some tortoises lay eggs at the age of 100, he points out. There are whales that live to be 200, and clams that make it past 400. Those species use the same building blocks for their DNA, [...]

Answer these 15 questions from the Devil so you’ll know how much exactly in “soul dollars” your soul is worth. Whatever a “soul dollar” is, we’re sure it’s a good replacement to the usual anal sex joke you stammer at the singles bar.

If you’re an actual confused little zombie just dying to touch someone, Ryan Leach of LostZombies wants you to know he’s doing some zombie magic with his site and is making a documentary with you, little zombie, in it! Ain’t it so bloody awesome? Go sign up!

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{Photo: Jenna Jameson from Zombie Stripper}

When we say “Jaime del Val projects his penis on buildings,” we’re not actually being metaphorical and all.

Jaime wanders the streets of Madrid naked and armed with camera equipment, and he uses this high-tech shit to literally project his wonderful, powerful schlong on random buildings. So far,the walls of Almudena Cathedral and the Royal Palace [...]

Apollo astronaut Edgar Mitchell returned from his mission to the moon a changed man. He has spent the last 35 years trying to use the tools of science to figure out what happened. Along the way, he says that people knowledgeable about an alleged crash of an alien spaceship in Roswell, N.M., shared the information [...]

Meanwhile, on the happy-happy-joy-joy set of Sienna Miller’s new movie Hippie Hippie Shake, the filming crew face a great hurdle: Sienna’s anachronistic, well-manicured pubes.
“The film is set in the swinging 60s when fashion was wild and body hair even wilder,” says our studio mole.
“Sienna was an absolute star throughout filming and her performance was flawless.
“The [...]

Spencer Taylor went to some cinema in costume as the Joker, tried stealing Batman collectibles, and when caught, attempted wriggling his way out of it by saying something we’re sure was really clever, really funny, and really, really, really charming. It didn’t work. What’s this world coming to?

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Spanish growers with nothing better to do spent 12 years “perfecting” the “melon that tastes just like lemon”, apparently in an all-out effort to wipe out all “melons that taste like actual melons” from this planet.

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