SKIRMISHER

I have just finished watching the Hannibal Lecter trilogy this week, and am now as hungry as a cannibal to sit down and read the novels (spiced with classical music in the air). A former bandmate of mine lent me pirated CDs of these Anthony Hopkins classics (without my permission). Upon viewing them, I was mightily impressed not just by […]

I don’t really know fuck about what in hell Bush thinks; I’m not even sure if his brains’ gears are a-churnin’ at all. But if I don’t feel so bad about my own ignorance of Bush’s wisdom (I presume there’s only one thing in that head: either “far-reaching sagacity” buried as deep as Arctic crude […]

US Energy Secretary Samuel Bodman has a clever proposal. To solve the US oil crisis, he says, let’s use the fat sucked out of obese patriotic Americans.
“Unlike the flesh of those dinosaurs, who turned into oil 6,000 years ago,” Bodwell explained, “human body fat is a totally renewable energy resource. All we have to do […]

After pissing off many people with the strange buzzing sound of its MacBook Pro and MacBook discoloration, the company has finally agreed to repair and replace said units free of charge.
Previously, Apple skirted the issue regarding the orange-hued discoloration that plagued certain MacBook notebooks by blaming it on users who don’t take a bath, eat […]

When traveling in Italy, nothing’s more reassuring than calling the public directory and having a convicted murderer, drug pusher, or thief so nicely assist you. They’d even call you “Ma’am.” Kind, helpful fellows, aren’t they?
But don’t ever serve that sarcastic shit to Telecom Italia, which is convinced there’s nothing funny about its new business; it’s […]

I used to be crazy about Ally Mcbeal in its heyday. Smart, feisty, funny–who wouldn’t like Callista Flockhart? My beer-guzzling officemate Steve even thinks the Ally Mcbeal star–despite anorexia, suspected drug use, and all–is hot. But this recently-stolen paparazzi photo might just shatter Steve’s infatuation. The pissed-off Callista shown above, Exhibit A, disturbs me; she’s […]

A Canadian company called Solestrom recently released a bikini that apparently tells you if the sun is already making your skin into something you’d normally see in Night of the Living Dead.
It’s pretty clever, but the advanced education I got entirely from Wayne’s World simply tells me anything that detects the hot sun might also […]

Oh, this is cruelty. Not because we mentioned some weeks ago this cool thing called Aquariass does it necessarily indicate where our hearts are when it comes to empathy for other nice (athough pretentious) living things like goldfish and M. Night Shyamalan. We’re not amused with these things. And so you won’t catch us talking […]